What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

True - how I loved my mum!

What do you mean son?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

What is it like to be a Christian in Iran?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

What! how could you do that?

Why do humans sweat while stressed?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

How often do you watch the news on TV?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

What does it mean when I have a dream where my friend died? I had this dream last night where one of my friends died in a shootout and I woke up crying.

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Do you know what she said mum?

Why is it that when the Democrats absolutely love everyone to be LGBTP, they don't even acknowledge that Barack Obama and his husband Big Mike are homosexual, and he is the first homosexual president of the USA?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”